Taking a step back is sometimes necessary.

In world where everything is so fast paced it, we sometimes need to remind ourselves that it’s important to just STOP, take a breathe, take a moment, collect your thoughts. What better time to do it than waking up fresh on a Sunday morning! So I have actually spent the last few days recovering from an operation (nothing too major) but it means that I am currently a little less active, I need plenty of rest and most importantly I am not allowed alcohol! So, the last 2 nights I have only had my own company, just me and my thoughts and I whilst at one point last night I felt like I was clawing at the walls and wanted nothing more than a nice glass of white wine by the fire and some company, I actually feel like the time alone has done me some good. It made me think about how I want to spend my time once i’m better, what would be my ideal weekend, it made me look back and think how many weekends I have probably regretted getting blind drunk and writing off the next day!…. It also gave me time to chat to my new matches on Hinge. Well.. not all of them.

I have been slightly sporadic with the app to be honest, I have to admit I do feel like the quality of matches in comparison to say the likes of tinder is a lot higher! My only predicament now is, I have 4 potential dates and for someone who hasn’t officially dated in a while I don’t know how to fit them in or how to choose. Some people would say go on all 4 right? Because the chances of me liking all 4 are probably slim and you wouldn’t cut your nose off to spite your face and all that. Yet here I am wondering how people can be so ruthless to go on date after date after date, I’m not sure I have it in me!

Anyway, I still have at least another week of recovery which I guess gives me another week of thinking clearly and making a decision, I feel a little nervous about it to be honest! I am learning from previous experience though, I am not getting so caught up texting someone that you give too much to someone before you know if they deserve it – That is progress!!

As I sit in bed, typing this with a huge cup of tea and what seems to be the most chilled out apple playlist on in the back ground I feel like I am in a happier place, my face might resemble a dog that has just eaten a bee (due to the stitches) but I feel confident, confident enough to know that I don’t need to go searching for someone, that I don’t actually need to be in relationship, of course I have talked about the desire for companionship, however, sometimes once you have had that time by yourself it serves as a great reminder that in fact, being able to be content with your own company and being happy with yourself needs to be the first focus! Remind yourself often, take a deep breathe, smile and repeat!

“You have to train your mind to be stronger than your emotions or you will lose yourself every time”

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