Be careful investing your time on “virtual relationships”

So the famous saying … “You can’t take the word back after it’s said, you can’t live the moment after it’s missed and you can’t recover the time once its gone”  Well its something along the lines of that. Whatever the saying may  be it’s scarily accurate, something which I recently discovered all too well!

So you start up a convo online with someone, it quickly turns into you texting most days, you find yourself having common interests, using the same funny sayings, sharing things you probably wouldn’t expect to share with someone you’ve never met, For example ranting and telling secrets about your friends who have for whatever reason p*ssed you off that day, stuff about your past life, your family. Then it becomes a natural thing and that’s nice right? Of course, I am talking from personal experience here so when I say its nice, yes it was and I felt like it was someone out of my circle I could call after work if I needed, or he would randomly facetime me every so often, or ask how my mum was and so on. It even got to a stage where he sought advice about females from me. From this I confided in him about all sorts and yes you could say we were friends! – Virtual friend that is.

The problem is everyone is online, it’s easy to spend your day whatsappin someone when the conversation never runs out, you build some form of trust with them, a good rapor, it’s so easily done.

I became vulnerable after I started thinking they understood me, they understood when I told them that some days I felt lonely, that some days I just wish I had a spontaneous companion to go and do things with and someone to just spend time with doing the things we both enjoyed. I became vulnerable when I believed that they felt the same, that they were also at the same point in life as me. That they no longer wanted their time wasting by people who were only interested in a short fling.

The sad part about all this is, after an entire year, that relationship you’ve built up over time, that comes so naturally can be so hurtful once it changes.

I tend to say “if you have no expectations you can never be disappointed” and I often say this and think of myself when I do, I don’t hide behind snapchat filters, I don’t photoshop or edit my photos but I know deep down that people online build up and image of you in their head if they haven’t met you, so when I say you can never be disappointed I mean by me personally. Still regardless of all this, all the time you’ve invested and the stories and secrets you’ve shared, there is nothing more confidence destroying when you meet someone and they slowly ghost you. From taking minutes to reply it turns into hours and then into days, until the point in your head you no longer want to feel embarrassed by trying to keep a conversation going that you know they are clearly trying to avoid! You have to ask yourself, was it worth it? Did you deserve for them to disrespect you so much that after meeting they slowly decided to cut you off. If they can’t be honest with you or perhaps they’re deciding to move on to the next of many they are texting with, why can’t they be honest and tell you straight.

Ignorance isn’t bliss! But let me tell you, if you’ve been in this situation and if you’ve ever felt like this yourself, pick yourself up like I am trying to, learn from it and know that they were not worth your time. So next time, spend it wisely, put yourself first and do not invest so much time in someone until you know they truly deserve it. Because at the end of the day you only end up getting hurt and feeling like you are back to square one!

“If flowers can teach themselves how to bloom after winter passes, so can you”


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