Where do we even begin?

Now I am sure it’s a cliché for most people to blog about love, failed relationships and the struggles of the 21^st century dating world but it’s something that seems to consume my life at the moment.

I wonder just how many people have asked the very same question

And that question is…

How is it that there are more than 7 billion people in the world and yet I seem to struggle to find a single one I have a connection with?

I am sure I am not the only one who thinks like this? Surely there are so many of us out there wondering the exact same thing, right?.

Over and over we are told, “It will happen when it happens”, “It will happen when you least expect it”, “Stop trying so hard to find someone” but to be honest the more I hear that the more I feel like its complete and utter bu*llshit, how can it be this difficult to find a single male who has a sense of humour, common interests and isn’t messaging 15 other girls from social media AFTER you meet up?  From personal experience … it’s pretty impossible.

I don’t know, maybe I’m doing this whole dating malarkey wrong. It’s hard, like really hard.

We meet so many people online, social media literally surrounds us and we all know how easy it could be for us to start up a conversation online, whether it be with a stranger or with an old friend, my issue is, it’s not attention I want, you can get attention from anywhere, it’s affection and/or some form of connection that really matters so starting up those meaningless conversations isn’t something I do. I really am only prepared to kiss a few more frogs and I am done.

Maybe for a bit of context I should explain my current situation.

I am a 25 year old single female, my longest relationship experience can be saved for another day, but I spent over 6 years with him until one day I couIdn’t take it any more, so since that time I have spent the best part of the last 3 years officially single.  ‘It’s complicated’ is not an option at this point, I don’t have time to be swiping on tinder or any of these other hook up sites in order to find someone who may potential be a fun date, only to find out later down the line that they’ve been seeing multiple other girls until they decide which one they fancy the most. I make myself sound so fussy and complicated but surely this is how the world worked before life on the internet and it’s not that unrealistic to want to be messed around by guys who are living their dating lives with multiple options?

You see, the biggest problem is, you can invest so much time in someone but still hold a lot back and when they let that wall down and you start to trust that what they are saying is true……… they let you down and you end up with your emotions in tatters once again.

2019 – of course wanting to start a fresh new year, with a fresh new approach. I am still figuring out what my new approach is but, I am praying that if I write exactly what is on my mind through the art of blogging, I’ll eventually figure it out and hey, who knows, it could actually help someone else too.

30/12/2018

If a rose can still blossom and grow into a strong, beautiful flower after a life of having horse shit thrown at it…. Well then I guess I can too. – That lonely lover.